High-Functioning Women and Nervous System Fatigue
There is a particular kind of exhaustion that does not look like collapse.
It looks like capability.
It looks like reliability.
It looks like leadership.
It looks like composure under pressure.
Yet beneath the steadiness, the nervous system may be working continuously.
Ambition and Vigilance
Ambition requires energy.
Responsibility requires responsiveness.
For many capable women, these qualities develop alongside a refined capacity to anticipate, manage, and stabilise environments. They read rooms quickly. They respond efficiently. They hold multiple threads at once.
This is adaptive.
However, the nervous system does not distinguish between “high performance” and “high alert” as clearly as we might assume.
Sustained sympathetic activation, even when channelled productively remains activation (Porges, 2011).
Over time, vigilance becomes baseline.
Sympathetic Dominance
The sympathetic branch of the autonomic nervous system mobilises the body for action. Increased heart rate. Focused attention. Muscular readiness. Goal orientation.
In short bursts, this is healthy.
When dominant for extended periods, it narrows physiological flexibility.
Women operating in high-responsibility environments may notice:
Difficulty switching off at night
A sense of internal acceleration
Rest that does not fully restore
A subtle underlying tension in the jaw, diaphragm, or pelvic floor
Irritability when interrupted during rare moments of pause
The body remains prepared.
Even when nothing is required.
The Competence Paradox
High-functioning women often do not identify as stressed.
They are organised. Efficient. Strategic.
They have systems.
The paradox is that the very traits that create external success can mask internal fatigue.
Chronic low-level mobilisation may not feel dramatic. It may feel normal.
Until the nervous system begins to show signs of strain:
Subtle burnout without obvious cause
Decreased capacity for pleasure
Emotional flatness rather than overwhelm
Increased sensitivity to minor disruptions
This is not failure.
It is nervous system fatigue.
The Cost of Always Being the Stable One
In many personal and professional contexts, capable women become the regulatory anchor for others.
They manage crises.
They absorb tension.
They de-escalate situations.
They maintain the tone of the room.
This role often develops gradually and without conscious decision.
The nervous system, however, remains active in its monitoring.
Over time, constant responsiveness can reduce access to parasympathetic restoration , the state associated with safety, digestion, repair, and genuine rest (Siegel, 2012).
The body becomes proficient at doing.
Less practiced at softening.
Restoring Autonomic Flexibility
The objective is not to reduce ambition.
Nor is it to dismantle competence.
It is to restore flexibility within the autonomic system.
Somatic regulation work focuses on:
Expanding tolerance for stillness
Increasing awareness of subtle muscular holding
Supporting diaphragmatic and pelvic relaxation
Gradually strengthening parasympathetic capacity
This is not dramatic work.
It is precise.
When the nervous system regains flexibility, performance becomes less costly. Energy becomes more renewable. Rest becomes accessible rather than inefficient.
Ambition and regulation can coexist.
But vigilance should not be the price of capability.
References
Porges, S.W. (2011) The Polyvagal Theory: Neurophysiological Foundations of Emotions, Attachment, Communication, and Self-Regulation. New York: W.W. Norton.
Siegel, D.J. (2012) The Developing Mind: How Relationships and the Brain Interact to Shape Who We Are. 2nd edn. New York: Guilford Press.
